How to Love Someone:
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See the other as a complete and independent being
Not as a tool, a projection, or someone to be saved, but as a person with free will and the ability to choose. Love is not possession, but the acknowledgment and respect of the other’s boundaries and autonomy. -
Support their growth, not just fulfill your own needs
True love should help the other become more free, more whole, and closer to who they are capable of becoming. Sometimes this means giving space instead of clinging, and offering honest feedback instead of blind affirmation. -
Consistently commit to their well-being
Love is not something that should only be expressed when the feeling arises. It is shown through choices and actions that reflect goodwill and care. It is a sustained sense of responsibility, not a fleeting passion. -
Embrace the other through understanding, not idealization
Much suffering comes from “I wish you were that kind of person,” instead of “I understand you are this kind of person.” True love begins with a deep understanding of the other’s complexity, not an attempt to mold them into an ideal. -
Respond to their vulnerability with honesty and gentleness
The deepest human connections come from being understood, not judged, in moments of vulnerability. To hold someone’s fragility is not to control them, but to accompany them.
If love is a long-term act of helping someone become a more complete version of themselves, then loving others should not merely be a feeling or a relationship, but a practice of understanding and responsibility.
The essence of love is not possession, not sacrifice, and not exchange — but the nurturing of freedom and value in another’s existence.
You might ask: Is such love still tender?
The answer is: It may not burn like a fairy tale, but it will shine like a star — steady, deep, and unmoved by passing winds.
